Am I There Yet?

I complain a lot about life in Paris, but there are many wonderful advantages to living here. One of the best things about Paris is that everything is worth celebrating, and celebrating big. Tonight, I just saw a convoy of army-green tanks, jeeps and motorcycles filled with cheering, drunk men dressed in 1940's uniforms roll under my window to celebrate the 60th anniversary of the liberation of Paris. I had seen the convoy earlier in the day lined up in front of the Hotel de Ville, which is right down the block from our apartment. They had speakers strung up all down the street, and a huge brass band was blasting "Stars & Stripes Forever." I raced outside to see where the music was coming from, and, I must be ready for a visit home, because I teared up. It sounded so American, so festive. People were practically dancing in the street. I was ridiculously proud, as if I gave birth to America myself. I can only imagine the energy and joy that must have filled the streets 60 years ago.

When we saw the convoy coming down the street, we ran around the balcony for awhile, following them, and then I made Dawg grab his camera (by taunting him about being a lazy photographer) and run downstairs for pictures. I hope they come out well. A faux soldier jumped off the jeep to pose in a picture with me, and then took a shot of me and Dawg standing in front of a tank. Really fun stuff.

I'm having a weird day. There is absolutely nothing that I want to do. I don't feel like writing, reading, watching TV, listening to music, or watching Lord of the Rings, my new favorite movie, with my new favorite character (Aragorn, of course). I have no interest in studying french, or german, or talking on the phone to anyone, or going to the store. I could go to the movies or take a walk in the park, but I don't want to. Yet I hate being inside this apartment all day. It's so hot outside, I have to keep the shutters closed, so it's dark and stuffy in here. I feel claustrophobic. And yet, nothing outside looks appetizing to me either. I haven't even stood on my balcony today, which is what I usually do when I don't feel like going out.

Maybe it's because the weather is weird. The one time I was going to force myself out and managed to put some shoes on, a thunderstorm started. Now, hours later, I was about to re-put-on the shoes, and the skies instantly darkened. As I sit here and type, no drops have fallen nor thunder sounded. But I'm sure it'll begin the instant I actually put the shoes on.

The only thing I want to do is eat, and I'm on diet so I can't do that. I have considered going out to buy some broccoli, but who can muster up the amount of energy required over some broccoli?

So what have I been doing all day? Reading Jude the Obscure, which has managed to keep my attention even though I don't feel like reading it or any other book. Every few pages I think, "Surely there must be something more interesting to do?" and then I consider going out to buy some broccoli. I'm more than halfway done with the book.

The thing that kills me, is that I was so productive yesterday and was looking forward to being equally productive today. Dawg's on a business trip, I have no french lessons, the sky's the limit. But no. All I can do is wandering aimlessly around the apartment with Jude the Obscure in my hand.

Well, I guess this has killed about 10 minutes. Back to the book that I don't feel like reading.